More Miracle Water Made Monoatomic

For a mere $1,800.00 US you too can own a water filtration system that far exceeds the claims of all others on the market.  I'll not use the trademarked brand name, but will call it MiraculeOfWaters instead.  What does it do, you say?

Well for starters (and from the website) it uses orbitally rearranged monoatomic elements deep within the proprietary equipment chamber.  If that doesn't impress you, the CEO of the company was asked by a radio interviewer what that really was?  The response was along the lines of "..it's a special trap using magnetic elements and counterclockwise vortexing to erase the water's memory."  The name of Dr. Emoto was then dropped as proof of the efficacy of the unit.

For those who might not know, Dr. Masaru Emoto is best known for his claims that human consciousness has an effect on the molecular structure of water.  His hypothesis has evolved over the years, but started with the claim that high-quality water, when frozen, forms beautiful and intricate crystals, while low-quality water has difficulty forming crystals.  As proof of these claims he took thousands of pictures of frozen water crystals.  The pretty ice crystals always had a label of distilled water, or high quality water or some other positive term, and the uglier crystals were shown as being from a water source with a far less positive connotation.  He later claimed that positive changes to water crystals can be achieved through prayer, music, or by attaching written words to a container of water.  None of his claims have yet been independently verified through science.  For more, visit the International Water For Life Foundation website where you can see pictures of frozen water crystals under the influence of Mozart, Elvis, and more.

Anyway, back to this new and amazing water device.  Another benefit that really sold me is the claim that this product has a "LOC Rating (Level of Consciousness) of between 700 and 800".  Pretty impressive, no doubt.  (I'm actually afraid to look this one up in case I might find that a LOC rating of less than 1000 means you're in a coma.)

It also "corrects DNA damage"; "increases electrical conductivity of the body on a cellular level"; "may cause DNA to relax and heal"; and "resonates with DNA and feeds the Light body".  What I don't get is if it's filtering and removing all these heavy metals and just about everything else, how can it make a light body heavier?  And, if it erases the memory of water, how do I know if I'm getting high quality water under the influence of John Denver or swamp-water serenaded by NIN?

Oh, and you can also consider a few extras - like $50.00 for the "accelerator pendant" shown here.  There is no description, but I guess it accelerates something.  I'm gonna be really upset if all it does is play John Denver at 78 rpm.